What Might Have Been: BYU Honor Code
Four years ago, I was writing a biweekly column for a Latter-day-Saint-friendly online publication when the section on same-sex relationships was taken out of BYU’s Honor Code, and same-sex dating appeared to be permitted under the same conditions as heterosexual dating. I wrote an article pointing out the advantage of this change to students and the school. Just before I submitted for publication, the Church Educational System issued a clarification which made clear that any type of same-sex romantic relationship was a violation of the Honor Code (potentially grounds for dismissal from the University).
As the anniversary of these events comes around again, I decided to post the article I wrote and never published, as a recognition of what might have been and what may yet be.
What Can We Learn from the BYU Honor Code Changes?
February 2020
After the changes to the Brigham Young University Campuses’ Honor Code, a picture was widely circulated on social media and news reports of two female students at BYU Provo kissing in front of the Brigham Young statue. They were exuberant in their understanding that the Honor Code no longer proscribes certain same-sex behaviors such as holding hands, kissing and dating. While some celebrated, others saw this as a threat to an institution they love, and they agonized over the apparent failing of standards of morality at the church’s flagship schools.
How we interpret this Honor Code revision depends on the context we bring to it. I suggest we view it in light of other changes in the church, including to the General Handbook, and ask “What can I learn from this?”
In his first General Conference address as president of the church, President Russell M. Nelson said
I urge you to stretch beyond your current spiritual ability to receive personal revelation…
… in the coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.[i]
Those were not idle words. In the short two years since, we have seen many changes that invite us to live by the light of revelation, by the Spirit rather than by defined behaviors. The change to the Children and Youth program is one example. Previously, young men and young women were provided with a Merit Badge Handbook or a Personal Progress booklet and encouraged to start checking off accomplishments. The steps were clear and defined, and while eventually they would design their own Eagle Scout project or Value project, for the most part they were focused on accomplishments that were given to them—a checklist for achievement.
Now we invite our young women, young men, and children to set goals that they have selected through prayer and inspiration. We are asking them to live a higher law of revelation for their own lives rather than a checklist created for them. They will develop an understanding of how to seek and receive revelation early in life that will prepare them for the days to come.
The changes to the new General Handbook are significant. All members of the church now have access to information that was previously reserved for bishops and stake presidents. While not all sections of the Handbook have been updated, we can see a pattern in the first four chapters that aligns with President Nelson’s charge: we are being taught principles, with scriptural foundation, and asked to seek God’s guidance in how to apply those principles to our individual situation. Joseph Smith, when asked how he governed so many people, said “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.”
It Can Get Messy
As we are each striving to live by correct principles and revelation for our individual lives, we may find that the Lord is giving us different guidance than our friends receive. We can see this in simple ways, such as the direction we receive in how to make the Sabbath Day a delight. My Sabbath Day activities may look different from my neighbors—can I be comfortable with that difference? Or do I feel we all should look the same, act the same, that God will teach us the one right way to live?
Things may get a little messy if we are each striving to live by God’s direction rather than a checklist from church headquarters. That messiness may cause us discomfort. I think God’s plan of salvation is designed to be messy. We are learning from our own experience, and trying to discern God’s will for us, and that involves mistakes, learning from our mistakes, trying something different, repenting when necessary, and discovering what brings us joy and what is only an illusion.
Lucifer’s alteration to Heavenly Father’s plan may have kept things neater, more black and white, with no option for messiness. But it would frustrate the fundamental purpose of God’s Plan of Salvation. C. S. Lewis in “The Case for Christianity” observed,
If a thing is free to be good, it is also free to be bad. And free will is what has made evil possible. Why, then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes Evil possible, also make possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.
The BYU Honor Code
This brings us back to the Honor Code. Coinciding with changes to the General Handbook, the Honor Code is less prescriptive and more principle-based. Rather than defining what specific behaviors are or are not allowed, especially concerning students attracted to their own gender, the Honor Code asks us to stretch and learn. Like the new temple recommend questions, the Honor Code invites students to consider what it means to live a chaste and virtuous life. This is especially important for LGBTQ students, whose path forward may not follow the standard pattern of marriage and family that our young women and men are taught. How do they balance the realities of their experience with the covenants they have made and their desire to live a chaste and virtuous life?
When we teach principles rather than setting strict rules for behavior, we are inviting students to learn from their own experience and revelation how to live their lives.
If the Honor Code changes do indeed allow LGBTQ students to explore, to a limited extent, same-sex relationships, but to do it under the same conditions as opposite-sex couples, then they are asking questions about themselves and the way they experience life. They are learning what that means for them in the safe and supportive environment of BYU campuses and through their connection to their ward and spiritual leaders. Rather than accepting their diploma with one hand and hitting the crash bar out of the church with the other, they can try to understand their same-sex attraction in the light and support of the Church university environment, with the counsel of their Bishops and the influence of other good people. I'm grateful that the Honor Code seems to allow space for people to ask questions about what their sexual orientation means for their future in a safe and nurturing environment, and without having to hide until graduation.
In addition, we are inviting other BYU students to live a higher law which asks them to withhold judgment and to allow each other space to learn. It fulfills BYU’s slogan “Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve.” Learning on a campus in which diversity is tolerated and accepted prepares students to work and serve alongside people who are different from them. It invites them to learn about others’ life experiences and to expand their own understanding of how God works in the lives of all of His children.
Learning to listen to other’s stories without judgment will serve BYU students well in work, family, and church service.
This is messy, I know. And it may feel frightening. It may feel dangerous. It may feel the Church is caving into social pressure (no change in doctrine here, just to be clear). But this whole come-to-mortality-to-learn-from-our-experience plan is messy. It is frightening. It is dangerous. God invites us to turn to Him in our confusion and fear and let Him show us the way forward. Reason won’t get us there, even reasoning from the Handbook or the Honor Code. We need the light of revelation to feel peace and clarity.
This is what we can learn from recent changes; we look for light from God. We live by revelation, and trust God to grant it and ourselves to receive it. We observe and listen and learn, and we help each other along the way back to our Home.
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[i] Nelson, Russell M. “Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, April 2018. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/04/revelation-for-the-church-revelation-for-our-lives?lang=eng.
